Until I was in the process of publishing my book, I never even thought about my reviews and how they could actually *gasp* hurt someone's feelings. Authors were big rich people who didn't care about stuff like that, right? Umm, no. Now I wish I could go back and erase all those reviews.
But we don't want to lie, because readers want to know! So what are we to do? It's a conundrum (my favorite word ever). I have a new policy -- if I don't love it enough to give it four or five stars, I won't review it. If I do have to review it and I don't love it, I'll focus on what was good about it, because it is someone's baby and just because it wasn't my cup of tea doesn't mean it isn't fantastic. Everything about reading is subjective.
AND we can use KINDNESS when we critique others' work. I know critique means we're supposed to find things that need to be fixed, but it also means find the things you love, and point them out. Writers are baring their soul and they need those kind words as well as the critical ones.
FINALLY, be KIND to yourself. We are our own worst critics, right? Yes we are (I am using the right? Right thing a LOT today. I'm not entirely sure why). We NEED to be our own biggest cheerleader. So. Go do that, would ya?
Sounds like you had a pretty serious lesson in empathy. I didn't realize how close writers were to their own work either, until I started writing and a bad critique felt like someone was picking on your kid. Not pretty.
ReplyDeleteExactly! I was the same way!
DeleteWell, sure! I enjoy my writing, and enjoy reading it as well...maybe I need to be more objective, but I really do like it. In fact, I invite everybody to come and read it... this includes you, my friend! Best regards to you.. Ruby Thank you for your very well-written and interesting post. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you love your own writing! I usually hate mine :)
DeleteI so agree with you on book reviews.And with my debut coming out sometime this year I'm shaking in my boots about them. We need more kindness in the world.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain :) When mine came out, my husband and I made a deal. He'd read the reviews and only let me see the good ones. It's working out fabulously!
DeleteI found that even as an editor of books that have been published- harsh reviews seriously take a person down a notch or five. LOL Even as the editor. I take my job with the author very seriously, so the review is a reflection on me just as much. If there were mistakes I feel I should have caught them. I'm also a writer, and having a close attachment to your own work really is the pits sometimes. Great post. New follower.
ReplyDelete~Summer
My A-Z
I NEVER thought about how reviews might make an editor feel, but you are so right! And now I'm bouncing over to your blog to visit :)
DeleteCritiquing kindly is always tricky.
ReplyDeleteIt is tricky! But so important. In my first critique group, I almost quit because the critiques were pretty harsh. I'm so glad I didn't, but I learned quite a lesson from it!
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