I love writing. SO MUCH. I get to bring my daydreams to life, and there are people out there who love to read my daydreams. BEST JOB EVER!
But there's a seedy underside to it. And here's why:
1-I can't daydream properly anymore. I used to daydream while I was in the car, in the shower, standing in line, or going to sleep. Now, I try to daydream. I have a fantastic idea. It's going along great and BAM! I come up with something I think is genius and instead of continuing the daydream, I must write it down. Or I sit and stress about the fact that I will forget said genius in a matter of seconds if I continue. It's sad, really.
2-I can't read properly anymore. Everything I read, I'm editing. Oh, my favorite author used the same word twice in a sentence! Oh dear, that sentence is a tad awkward. OR I'm comparing myself to what I'm reading and of course, I'm lacking. After which, I think about throwing myself under a bus. Or never writing again.
3-I can't properly speak anymore. When I'm writing, apparently it takes all my brain power, so forming a coherent sentence outside of writing is pretty much impossible. I sound more like a lost cave girl than a writer. "Me Wendy Hungry." *rocks back and forth and clutches head*
4-TV shows have been ruined forever. I watch them and their major plot holes that are supposed to go unnoticed but they DON'T, and I'm like, I would get slammed in reviews if I did something like this. They don't. NOT FAIR! And then I throw a tantrum, kicking and screaming on my living room floor.
5-Amazon and Goodreads are no longer my favorite places to hang out. Yeah, okay I had no life before and I loved looking at books on Amazon or Goodreads. Now, visiting each site makes my heart speed up until I'm almost dizzy, wondering what kind of reviews and/or ratings are waiting for me. Even if I'm not even going to visit my book, my subconscious panics and runs screaming.
6-I feel that everyone is judging my grammar...and finding it lacking. I majored in English. I minored in Communication. I should be an expert, yes? Umm, no. I can't spell. I blame my dad, who skipped first grade and never learned to spell and somehow he passed that gene on to me (It makes perfect DNA sense. Honest). Also, commas and capitalization and sentence structure are BEYOND ME. I am hopeless. Please forgive me.
However, seedy underbelly aside, when I write a story and someone tells me they were up all night reading it, or that I made them cry (I am evil. Bwahahah), or that it's their favorite book ever, all of these things, and a thousand others I can't think of because I've been writing so my brain doesn't work, they're all worth it. And if anything in this post is spelled wrong/grammared wrong (that's totally a word), or the sentence makes absolutely no sense, you now know why.